Tag: thinking

Night Owl Tastes the Early Worm

This morning I got up early to make a quick gift for a wee girl. It’s a soothy/pacifier/nuk-nuk/chooch/you-name-it holder, a key piece if you use these things so they don’t get lost or dirty. And it might as well be charming!

I’ve been trying this lately, the up-early-to-get-some-work-done bit that is, and sometimes it works with my sleeper-iner boys! The time is finite and my ears tense for waking sounds, but so far I’ve some fair success, as long as I don’t plan too big a task.

I tend towards the Night Owl side of things, always have. I revel in a quiet, still house and come alive creatively after 11 o’clock pm, loving the possibility in the hours that lie ahead and not being interrupted (except perhaps to nurse). But the danger is that I’ll easily work almost all night and that’s not great when those hours are meant for sleeping. And it isn’t particularly compatible with present, conscious mothering, so I’m trying to choose sleep when there’s sleep for the taking and not to get seduced by long stretches of quiet, velvety, night hours I could use to sew and sew and write and think!

One of the things I miss most from my before-kids days are the long chunks of undivided, dedicated time I could carve out for projects. I definitely couldn’t appreciate what a freedom that was. Sometimes, nay, often, keeping so many balls in the air is not the most effective or satisfying way to get things done. But I’d rather be juggling in order to still be creative and creating alongside my lovely boys than not. And I wouldn’t trade them, don’t mistake this for a complaint. Rather, their presence in my life has taught me to use my time way more efficiently. And to value quiet night hours like gold.

But I am an Owl in Robin’s clothing. The early worm tastes okay, it’ll definitely do. But there’s no doubt I’ll still succumb to the night now and then … hoot hoot!

I’m loving this easy soother strap design I’ve settled on and recently picked up some great ribbon so I can make a bunch for Etsy. Cute, non?

Aflutter Over the New Quilt

I finally finished the bird-patterned quilt I’ve been planning and working on over the past few months. This was the project that kept getting bumped aside for other more pressing matters and crafts. But its time has come! I present the Birdie Quilt and Burping Pad Combo.

I plan to carry this set on my Etsy store when I’m up and running in the summer, so the next step is to make some more sets. I am so happy with how this design came out. I like the big, chunky blocks and have always been attracted to baby stuff made with strong colours and a pattern that’s not so common.

Unfortunately in my photos you can’t really see the leaves sewn into the black blocks on the quilt, but they’re there! I am slowly increasing my photographic skills because of this blog, but the black fabric stole the light and I couldn’t find it. Will experiment more, am open to suggestions …

On the simple, flannel side of the burp pad and the blocked side of the quilt I used green thread so that the quilted leaf design would stand out. It’s fun to quilt this pattern free-hand on the machine, reminds me of painting or sculpting. Probably my favourite of the process!

The busy side of both pieces is stitched with white thread. The leaf quilting almost needs to be felt to be seen amidst the birds and foliage. I hope the detailing invites fingers to touch and baby cheeks to rest peacefully.

I’ve been reading and thinking about pricing and perceived value. Burping pads, my speciality, are just not that cost effective. The ones I make are relatively labour intensive but there’s a limit to what people will pay for such things and it’s not a lot more than a super fancy latte! I see a lot of sewers undervaluing their work on Etsy, burping pads for as low as $2.50 with a median of about $8 per pad, which I find totally ridiculous and frustrating. I think it may be one of the great failings of such a platform, that value gets diluted with uneducated or timid artisans not really understanding how to value their work. Because mass-produced brand names versions often go for close to $20 per pad! Anyways, I’m slowly working on the math to find the sweet spots for pricing my work.

The idea to pair a pad with a quilt is something I’m going to try since consumers seem to be willing to pay more for a quilt; perhaps the overall square footage of the item persuades them?! And I like the idea of these 2 items together, perfect for a new baby gift. My slow advance on cottage industry continues …

PS: I wrote this entry with a sleeping 8-month-old draped across my arm and lap. My wrists have been performing acts contortion in order to type! Insane perhaps, but I find that getting my blog post ready the night before is more enjoyable and practical for the most part. It’s just too hard to get a long chunk of time at the computer amidst the littles and isn’t fair to them. And I really am enjoying blogging, it’s helping me keep on some kind of task creatively I am surprised by how much I enjoy the act of writing and sharing here. Over and out.

A pocket full of thoughts …

I love/need to mull things over, weigh thoughts and ideas thoroughly (sometimes that means ad nauseum, I admit it!), check ’em out in different lights, size ‘er up. I don’t have a lot of time for that these days, but I grab my moments, my in-betweens — in bed as I fade out, nursing on the couch, walking to the park, making soup, riding up the stretch of highway between us and Nana&Papa’s house for weekend visits.

Which brings me to:

As mentioned in last Wednesday’s post, I’ve been meditating on simplicity. For me, right now, I think simplifying means not planning too much in a day, a week, a month, something I was practicing when Gene was under 3 months, but since then I’ve shifted into planning/hoping to do too much and often end the day frazzled, thinking I didn’t do enough, frustrated by the unstarted or unfinished projects staring at me with longing eyes. I set myself up for failure every time I plan too much in a day because my natural response to having too many things going is to panic and run for cover, figurative and literal. I stop thinking clearly or being able to prioritize and I just sit on the couch hoping the things I wanted to accomplish will get some of that Disney-princess-story-magic where they do themselves and have a catchy soundtrack and a subliminal message to boot!

So last week I started consciously planning to not plan a whole lot. I do the basics of my stay-at-home-mom day (which is a full-time job, I know I know, I grant that to others in my position but have a hard time feeling legitimate in it myself) and then I choose one thing beyond that that might, just might, get done. And funnily enough, I’ve actually been more effective since it seems this approach has alleviated the flight response. We’ll see if I can keep it up.

I’m consciously working at, reminding myself, to be present in the moment I’m in. It feels a little cringy and trite to write that down. And I am fully aware it’s not original. But it’s exactly what I need to know and practice right now. Actually Being Where I Am — in heart, head, body.

All my life I’ve been a planner, an anticipator. I think and yes, definitely worry, about the mythic “down-the-road” days … the big one for me right now is what happens when the mat leave is up in August? I just don’t know. And the lack of security in the not knowing freaks me out. But then I sabotage the lovely, suspended, necessary time that I am so privileged and deeply glad to have courtesy of this mat leave, particularly because I know so many women that don’t even have the option to have this year of partially-paid mothering. And when I am fully present, I experience such deep satisfaction, in everything really.

Someone wise recently reminded me that as a trained dancer, I’m practiced at being acutely present in the physical moment I’m in as a mover. I am working on translating some of that knowledge from studio to living room.

My 3-year-old is in a creative dance class on Saturday mornings. He loves it, skips down the street, has a buzzing, jumping energy in anticipation. He’s in class with two little friends of his whose moms and I have grown into wonderful friends through our kids. The class is only 45 minutes but we go for coffee during that time and honestly, Saturday coffee with these ladies has been a fantastic anchor point in my quiet maternity-leave life. In a period without a lot of adult-only interaction, I revel in those minutes of catch-up, giggling and gossiping and trading stories. We’ve decided to keep it up once classes are out, because somehow knowing that that visit is set gives the week a marker, a turning point of shared-experience. I must say, I like having a regular ladies-visit in my calendar. I highly recommend.

Last week I got a joyful email on a sunny morning from a lovely friend with the following link she was inspired by. And I think it’s worth sharing. Thanks to the writer Amelia Olson,

Click for the whole thing.

This bit feel particularly relevant, not directly but something that I often sense, and subsequently temper myself because of:
“As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed.  Too sensitive.  Too mushy.  Too wishy washy. Blah blah.  Don’t let someone steal your tenderness.  Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.  Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.”

I’m going to keep feeling deeply. Cheers.

Quilting Challenge: February

My 2012 Quilting Challenge (to myself) continues today with February’s result. It’s a little apple! I’m pleased with the simplicity of it, the detached leaf.

Simple.

I’m working on simple in lots of places — sewing, walls, dancing, writing, art, teaching, choreographing, mothering, being. Simply being where I am. I tend towards complicated, tangled. I need to unravel, unfold, see more space, feel more space, give and have more space. Perhaps that’s cryptic, but it’s what I’ve got for today. More on that soon I imagine.

And here the little apple sits beside January’s leaf:

Post V-day …

Yesterday was Valentines and Rudi worked for hours at making some spectacular cards for us. He’s learned to use tape and is very proud, his tongue sticks out with concentration and his little fingers work so carefully:

I’ve been trying and mostly succeeding at doing some of my artistic work during the day amidst and around the mothering of my 2 wee boys. But it’s come at a cost, I feel like I’m unraveling a bit and the balance of life vs work/art is swinging back and forth wildly, dizzyingly, instead of wafting tolerably.

It was working for a bit but I realized that I was putting-off my 3 year old more than usual because I was either preparing food, nursing the 5 month old or working on some sewing or online on the blog or researching. Not fair to him. And sending me in too many directions, which always ends up making me feel useless. Not fair to me. And since I have a lot of interests, I tend towards this anyways — being in too many directions at once, having a lot of “in progress” projects that get done bit by bit as interest and time allow. And then the feeling useless translates into me getting defensive to the world and being a major brittle, cranky pants. So it’s time for a schedule overhaul!

We are now playing with Rudi for a while in the mornings immediately following breakfast, instead of us both going off on our own, he to play and me to work. Today we were in spaceships (he made one for me by arranging all the balls he owns around me in a circle!) We talked on walkie-talkies (wood pieces from his play tool set) and took pictures of planets with his toy camera. It gave a much better tone to the day, Rudi was happier and I’m feeling like I actually accomplished something rather than just spinning my wheels.

And instead of trying to do everything — mothering and art-working — all at once, I’m going to try dedicating 2 to 3 nights per week to the sewing and crafting instead of surrendering to the couch and good/bad TV with the hubby every single night, as tempting as it is. And the days will be more for the boys, and food prep, and walks and whatever comes along, like unexpected poos or cuddles or naps or cleaning jags! We’ll see how it goes, I’m going to give it the old college try anyways.

I’ll leave you with this little nugget of goodness in honour of yesterday’s love day. I’ve been following the blog of artistic mom Adele Enersen since I found it in 2010 — you should check out her etsy blog to see what I’m talking about – her sleeping baby adventure photos are utterly inspiring! Rudi was too old to try this with by the time I saw her blog, so when I had Gene I knew I wanted to make some of my own with him during his sleepy times. Here he is, rocking the Cupid:

Quilting challenge to myself

On Friday I talked about how the last week had been an intense, straight-up mothering week and a gong-show as far as anything beyond the needs of the kids went. It’s a new week and I’m hopeful, always hopeful, that I’ll get a bit of my own artist work done.

I’ve given myself a manageable challenge for the year (I think?!), to develop 12 different quilting patterns this year, 1 per month. I’m cheating a bit for January as I designed this one in the fall, but this gets me going! I need a few go-to designs for the quilts and burp pads I’ll be making and think this will be a fun way to tie the projects and the year together. I’m going to make each one on a 6″ x 6″ square and maybe they’ll become a garland for the boys room by December!

Here’s my signature leaf design, gonna try to make the square tomorrow:

If you have a favourite quilt or quilting design, old or new, tell me about it and link an image in the comments, I looooves me quilts and quilting of any kind!

Rearview Fridays: A Felted Marcel!

Here we are at Rearview Friday already! Today I present a recent project, my needle-felted Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. Do you know Marcel? If not, you should check him out immediately as he’s charming beyond words! There’s also a sequel, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, Two, and a book Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, Things About Me.

Rudi’s dance teacher is also a good friend of mine and in December at the end of his first term as a dance student, I made her a felt Marcel as a  thank you present (I’m a big believer in teacher gifting). I got a needle felting kit from a friend a while ago and I just love it! Needle felting is like painting and sculpting at the same time and it pays off quickly. Plus it’s fun to jam a barbed needle into a hunk of wool over and over til it’s felt, great for letting off frustrations.

This week kicked my behind a bit, strange weather, a family trip to the dentist (Rudi yelled so long and loud they decided to try again in 6 months!) and epic bodily function marathons that went something like this: baby Gene poops through his diaper, then vomits copiously across the space I sleep while I’m getting a wet cloth and a new diaper, now Rudi needs to poop in the toilet but he can’t get his pants undone, okay, Rudi’s pants are off, he’s taking care of business, Gene is now diapered, vomit wiped up, Gene poops again, I wipe him and leave him for 3 minutes of naked bum time thinking, “how much more poop could there be?” (error), Rudi, bless his heart, has peed on the seat and left the water running but at least that means he washed his hands, wipe up pee, turn off tap, back to Gene, he’s peed right over the waterproof mat onto the space where I sleep and pooped on the mat, soak up pee, toss mat in laundry, Gene is diapered again, Rudi is hollering from downstairs about a granola bar, Gene poops again, violently, straight out the back of the new diaper then immediately rolls (his new trick that I don’t yet anticipate) leaving baby-poo streaks where I sleep, now I need to pee, dream of a nap for a moment, remember I need to pump milk so I can teach dance on Saturday morning, open the granola bar, now I’ve forgotten to change the sheets, by the time it’s bed time I really don’t care, so I sleep in the traces of poop and pee and vomit. I probably need a shower.

Now that’s not a complaint, it’s a share that hopefully reminds me and maybe helps someone else to remember about the sometimes-madness of parenthood. There was a lot of laughing and sighing involved, I  just had to surrender to the ridiculousness of the moments and pretty much walked away from all blogging, business planning and actual sewing for the week. That’s part of being where I am right now, and so I laugh, sigh, occasionally cry (though not very often, there’s no time for drama folks!), lie on my back to stretch or “sleep” for 5 minutes when I can and am grateful that other people are honest in conversation and books and on blogs about the merciless pace that comes with young children. Plans, as well laid and measured and modest though they may be, often just go sideways. So I’m side-stepping, doing the grape vine through it all, and a plate or two may break, just sayin’.

Happy weekend, here’s to a cozy, calm weekend. Ha ha (about the calm part anyways).

Rain Day

It’s January and yet the Toronto weather has covered almost ALL of the currently available seasons, from relatively balmy to pouring freezing rain to snowing and back around. Rudi (who is 3) is deeply confused about what footwear to use as there is a smorgasbord of shoes and both snow and rain boots. Today it is a rain day, serious enough that we buckled down for a crafty, cozy, thoughtful day in.

I tend towards melancholy and sentimentality (in an Anne of Green Gables sort of a way) so a rainy day really cranks up my dramatic misty-eyed side! Lots of contemplating change and what my work means to me and how I do/will define myself as a crafter and/or business woman with my sewing, what I’ll choose to make for business and what I’ll reserve for simple creative pleasure, and so on. It’s all good thinking inspired by a conversation with a new friend made last week — a friend of a friend who’s a long-time, self-employed creative type.

Alongside the contemplating, there’s some good old fashioned Hotwheels and Cars 2 games going on throughout the house, just to balance things out!

Rudi agreed to help me create my first ever how-to for the blog while we made some rainy day juggling balls! So here we go, for a quick and easy craft, just follow along!

How to Make Balloon Juggling Balls:

THE CRAFT: layered balloon juggling balls
TO START: You'll need: lots of balloons (3 per juggling ball), scissors, lentils (or rice), thin plastic bags (we cut ours from the corners of kitchen garbage bags)
STEP 1: Pour 1/2-3/4 a cup of lentils (or rice) into your plastic bag
STEP 2: Tie a tight knot in the bag (or you can use a tiny elastic)
STEP 3: Cut off the excess bag above your knot
STEP 4: How your bag of lentils should look (pause for dramatic effect) yes, correct, sort of like drugs found in a suspected mule's esophagus or butt on a bad TV show. No need to read this step out to the kids in the house. And now continue on to step 5!
STEP 5: Cut the narrow bits off your balloons
STEP 6: Wrap 2 of the balloons around the bag of "lentils", one over the other, so that there is no plastic bag showing. I used the same colour for a consistent base (but you can get wild and go with 3 or more colours of course!)
STEP 7: Cut some extra holes in your 3rd balloon, 2 or 3 should do the trick
STEP 8: Wrap your 3rd, holey balloon over the first 2 balloons and you're there, 1 lovely, multi-coloured juggling ball done!
FINISHED! Ta-da! A variety of well weighted yet not too dangerous juggling balls.